Monday, 9 May 2011

Stupid thoughts that I get around 7 year olds.

  • Whenever a teacher says we're going to do a maths session: "Shit. What if I don't get it!?!"
  • When a teacher asks me to help with a demonstration and it's stupidly simple: "I MUST be doing this wrong... no? Oh thank god I don't look stupid in front of the children."
  • When a child asks me what fractions are: "I've not done them since GCSE... oh, halves? I can do that :3"
  • When I am asked to cut up pieces of string in random lengths: "erm.. ok."
  • Whenever a child asks me how to spell something: "...does that look right? It doesn't look right. Bugger."
  • Whenever a teacher asks me to sort out the cupboards: "Damn, she can see I'm good at tidying but not in the way where I'd be offended if they got untidy again really quickly."
  • When I had to write out 4 four-letter words in practice handwriting books: "I am certain that 'what' is not spelled this way. Oh christ, 'when' doesn't look right in this handwriting either. Arrrgh! *constant checking against spelling sheet*"
  • Whenever a teacher asks me to print something off: "I really hope someone else is printing something so I can ask them how to work that scary machine." (It really is scary.)
  • Whenever a teacher asks me to sharpen pencils: "I hope the children don't stab themselves with these."
  • When a teacher asks me to do some sticking/cutting/hole punching/sorting: "oh god, am I doing this wrong somehow?"
  • Whenever a child asks me if he can go to the toilet: "I don't have toilet power! :("
  • Whenever a child asks me if he can go outside when he's been told to line up for breaktime: "*high pitched* I don't know!"
  • Whenever a child is telling me about what their naughty brother did to them at home: "I hope you told your parents cause there's nothing I can do about it."
  • Whenever a child that wears glasses isn't wearing glasses and says she's left them at home: "urgh, how can you possibly ''forget'' to put glasses on when you're half blind?"
  • Whenever a child asks me what their WALT (task title thing) is today: "erm erm erm...? *frantic searching for the white board*"
  • When I have to weave my way through loads of tiny lumps (bodies) on the floor: "Shit, why do my feet have to be so big? (they're a size 4.5)"
  • When a boy is smirking at me because his friend told him a joke: "oh god, do I have pen on my face? Is my shirt coming unbuttoned? Do I have something on my bottom?"
  • When a child asks me how to spell a long word, such as 'convenient': "Oh yeah... I can spell that <3"

1 comment:

e.f. bartlam said...

Spelling's a nightmare...wrought with confusion and brain tingling philosophical issues...and I suck at it.

Reason enough to hate it.

So glad I don't have to do in front of a bunch of kids.