Saturday, 23 October 2010

There is nothing funny about sharing a bed with Anne Widdecombe

In my state of over-sleeping, I encountered a terrible dream, which so far has achieved grossing me out, and making my friend laugh.

I was at home in Cambridge, and Anne Widdecombe was, for some reason, staying at  my house. She'd slept in my brother's bed, and now it was my turn to share a bed with her. [Why we went through all this before I stomped downstairs to the sofa is beyond me]

It was cramped in my single bed, and I was against the wall, trying to touch as little of her as possible. Her breath stank, and I muttered as much. She threw a massive hissy hit and said, "fine, we shall sleep head to toe". And proceeded to put her head on the other end of the bed, whilst planting her rather horrible looking feet on my pillow. Which disgusted me. I pulled the pillows away and told her I'd rather she slept the other way round. I went to the toilet, and then downstairs to get some air. My grandmother was still awake, so I asked if I could sleep in her room, or on the sofa, because Anne Widdecombe was really getting on my nerves and it was impossible and how did my brother manage a whole night!?

So that is what I did. I got loads of sympathy from my grandmother, who assured me she'd be going home tomorrow, and my bedding would be thoroughly washed, whilst I went downstairs.

...I sound like a massive Anne Widdecombe hater; I wish she wasn't a tory and into some of her crazy tory policies. But I have a sort of respect for her, for a few reasons. Plus she's rather funny on Strictly Come Dancing, and a good sport.

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