Friday, 9 April 2010

Day 2 + 3 of My Kenyan Experience 4.0

I just thought I'd quickly mention that the reason it's called "Kenyan Experience 4.0" is that this is the 4th time I've come here. Just in case you'd not cottoned on to that.

Last night, we were all so knackered that we went to bed at about 9.30pm Kenyan Time (7.30 BST) and we went to sleep. Until about half past midnight when my brother was hurling what seemed to be his entire abdomen, because of a stomach bug. He's alright now, but when he continued being sick after even just a sip of water, and on an empty stomach, we knew it definitely wasn't from over-eating. Wasn't food poisoning, either, since we all had the same thing.

So, since he kept bring up his insides for a good 2 hours, we didn't really get much sleep. He got up to throw up bile at about 7am, here, so we didn't get a lot of sleep. Whilst he went back to bed, my grandmother and I decided to have breakfast.
Normally, breakfast here at Hemingways is great; selection of foods is good, and the stuff you get done for you is well done. This morning, I decided to ignore the fact the waffle mixture resembled bread dough, and gave it a go. The cook on hand put enormous thick portions into the iron, so that when the waffle came out, it was about an inch high. It also had the texture of a Sandwich Sponge cake. Adding sugar, it might as well have been.

In the afternoon, we met our friends once again, and had afternoon tea with them. Somehow, we managed to end up having to explain to them why we are atheists - they think we're utterly bonkers, and will probably pray for us. Since their father's a preacher (he married his 3 wives before he became a christian) they probably think that they know better. At least they don't blame God for disasters - they blame the Devil. Don't think they quite know what omniscience is.

That evening we had a great chat with our friend at Reception, Anne, who, it turns out, has a 3 year old daughter (she didn't even have a man when we last saw her three years ago) and isn't even married! Quite the opposite of her prim and proper ways, and her general no-sex-before-marriage rule - some things are just not worth waiting for, for too long. Unlike you male readers, women have a limited body clock, don't you know?


Day 3:

I had a lie in. Fantastic. Breakfast was better - the batter looked thinner, for the waffles, but I went for a pancake instead. I've really only spent today talking to Omar, the gorgeous chef, and Jeff, the could-probably-have-a-gorgeous-singing-voice receptionist. My grandmother telling him so, and that he even has the looks (unlike Susan Boyle, who came up as an example of Music Industry Image) made his day. Gorgeous laugh, he's got.

At about 3.30, I went to my room, to freshen up after a nap on the sunbed, and when I poked my head out of the window, I spied my grandmother filming a monkey on the path. I was quite stunned. In the 8 years I've been coming to Kenya, I've never had a monkey in the hotel. Let alone an entire family group. It was really quite exciting - I've seen Vervet Monkeys before; there are looooads at Gedde Ruins, and in 2002 on Safari, but *in* the hotel, on balconies and playing with a woman's bikini top and jumping along the beams: never before.
It was really quite strange, since my grandmother had her early morning walk, and was picturing butterflies and local squirrels, when one of the employees asked if she was looking for monkeys. She wasn't sure whether he really meant monkeys, or mistook squirrels for them (you'd be surprised how ignorant some people can be about their local wildlife, honest). We asked a waiter at breakfast if he'd ever seen any here, and he said very rarely they come out.
And lo and behold, here they were. At least 10 of them - adults, three females with babies, and lots of younger monkeys playing about. It was quite fun to watch.

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