My brain hates me. It really does. I'll suggest to it that I buy something, and it'll come up with every possible gut response *not* to buy that thing - even if it's train tickets to see The Boyfriend. I mean, he's paying for half of the ticket, I've got 4 of the days I'm seeing him on off, and apart from the train journey, there's not a lot to dislike about going to Bournemouth.
I want to buy new boots. I will be buying some with heels, because I shall be training my feet and brain to like them, put up with them and therefore allow me to wear heels as often as I like. However my brain very much dislikes parting with money - even when I have the money. I don't exactly, at the moment, but then again, nobody has, and it's a student loan and if I'm not spending it all on food and rent and I still have savings from it, then why not treat myself once in a while? I also what a nice outfit for going out in. Or at least something I can wear out normally but still go to the History Society 80s ball in and pass.
So I've chosen the days and times I'm travelling to and from Bournemouth. I even know how much it'll cost (£71.50 if you're wondering. WITH railcard) and yet I can't bring myself to order the tickets. My brain is screaming "what if you can't go in the end!? What if you have other commitments popping up!? What if you want to write your essays!?"
But I always get my work done and if I start as early as I did last term, I'll be absolutely fine and finish by the deadline.
Guess I'm a coward like that - I hate making big monetary commitments if I'm still not 100% sure that I can see them through. Of course I want to see The Boyfriend. I always want to see The Boyfriend. He came to see me last term, it's only fair that I go to him this term. And I get to stay a little longer and there're fewer complications where work is concerned, cause I won't be the one doing shift swapping (what with the lack of a job and all).
But this morning I had a moment of utter stupidity. I went to the lecture theatre, for 8.50, where I had the lectures last year; Elizabeth Livingstone theatre. Fine. Walked in to find a slide saying "Introduction to Neurology". I walked out, knowing that this was not my lecture. I thought quickly, and walked almost as quickly to the Furness building, where the other history lectures are held - I went to the window of said theatre, but it was dark, and I didn't see any people in there. I went to the library, and by the time I'd logged in and checked where I was supposed to be, it was 9.10 and there was no way I would go back to (the Furness building - I'd been correct) interrupt and walk in late. Easier to sit tight and wait for the lecture to finish before I went in anyway for my second lecture of the morning.